It's been a while since I did a Life lately post, so I thought this is a good time.

As you can see, my blog has been inactive for months since 2015. That's the time I got my 2nd job as an HR Assistant in a Distribution Company. I tried to do blogging, work and school at the same time but I really had a hard time. So, I have to gave up blogging and doing arts and crafts to focus on my job. After several months, I also had to gave up my graduate studies. I was promoted as the head of our department and it requires  more of my time and dedication. I was out of graduate school for 3 semesters already but I loved my job so I chose to prioritize my work. 

However, as I invested more time at work I did not realized that I was sacrificing my health. I got sick. My boss allowed me to rest for 3 months to heal. Then, I decided to go back to work. But to my disappointment laboratory results states that 3 months rest is not enough. That I still need more time at home, away from too much stress. 

I did not know what to do at that point since I just started working again. I know the Company needs me and that I am holding a crucial position that I cannot leave just that. I want to do my job and accomplish all the demands of my boss but my body is struggling. I have been experiencing several side effects of the meds I am taking, so I was really doubting if going back to work is the right thing to do. Until I was on the point of crisis. I overthink. I was desperate to look for applicants to the point that I force myself to do overtimes. I kept most of my problems with me. I cannot share it to my parents because they'll worry more than me. I cannot also share it to my workmates because they would think that I am a weak leader. 

That was the point when I felt that what I did is never enough to accomplish what was expected of me. The point when I was thinking I have done very little for the Company for the last 3 years. The point when I felt so weak and guilty that I have not done my part. I hated feeling that way. I do not want to disappoint anyone. But my condition is stopping me to give out my best. And so, even if it is not my intention, even if it is against my will, I have made my decision. 

If I had this condition I will not be strong enough to fight and give my best to achieve what was appointed to me. I'd better leave my post to give the Company the chance to look for a better person for the role. I do not want to be paid for being sick or to be paid for accomplishing so little. I want to be paid because I have done my part. So I left the Company.

Short Message for my boss

Boss,

I do not know if you will ever stumble upon my blog but I want to make use of this space I have on the web. Boss, I want to say sorry for not being able to submit my resignation letter to you in person. Honestly, I was ashamed of what I did. I know you trusted me but I have disappointed you by leaving my responsibilities just that. It is not my working attitude but as much as I am ashamed of what I did, I am also afraid of what will happen to me in the future if I continue working and set aside my health condition. I hope you understand my condition. I am sorry for not standing by your side. I am sorry if I was not able to put up with your standards. I apologize. Boss, I also want to thank you for letting me experience all the things that happened to me at work. All the overtimes, all the problems and all the issues - all of them are treasures for me. I have been stronger because of those hardships. I have encountered a lot of first times too and I thank you for trusting me like your child. I also treasure all your stories and advises. They will be my guide in the future. Because of your stories, I yearn for more. If I am not sick at this time, I know I will still be in the Company. I do not want to leave. I want to be part of the company's success. I am so grateful that I have the chance to meet you. Thank you. I wish more success for the whole group!

It's been over a month now. I have spent 3 weeks in the province with our grandparents and I am back here in Manila. 

I spent my time browsing the internet doing research about putting up an online business, watching vlogs of Jenn Im and video editing tips of Lost Leblanc on Youtube and reading eboooks. 

I want to re-activate my blog again which I also planned last December if work was not in the way. So, I was looking for inspirations on the web. 

And that is how my life was lately...

How about you guys? How's your summer?

It was actually raining outside and the flood outside is starting to build up. The first flood for 2018. Is this the end of Summer?